Hey there! I’ve got my coffee mug in hand, and I’m ready to tackle a topic that hits close to home for so many of us: imposter syndrome. You know that little voice that tells you, “You’re not really good enough,” or “Any day now, they’ll figure out you’ve been faking it”? Yeah, that voice has been in my head more times than I can count. Especially when I first stepped into a leadership role, I had this persistent fear that someone would burst into my office, wave around some checklist, and say, “Ah-ha! We knew it! You’re not qualified at all!”
Well, it’s been a few years now, and that day still hasn’t come. But the journey to realizing it was mostly me feeding those fraudulent feelings took a while. In this blog post, I want to share my personal experiences, along with some tried-and-true strategies, for how to overcome imposter syndrome in a real, down-to-earth way. I hope that, by the end, you’ll not only understand that you’re far from alone, but also feel more empowered to acknowledge (and truly celebrate) every step you’ve taken to get where you are.
Why Do We Feel Like Frauds?
Before diving into strategies, let’s define the elephant in the room: imposter syndrome. It’s basically this nagging belief that your accomplishments happened by chance or coincidence—that somehow, the universe slipped up by letting you succeed. For me, it often sounded like:
- “You just got lucky this time. Next time, you’ll fail for sure.”
- “Sure, you got this promotion, but that doesn’t mean you’re actually good enough to keep it.”
- “I bet they only hired you because they had no other candidates.”
Those thoughts showed up in different scenarios—everything from when I landed a job promotion, to speaking up in a meeting with folks who had 10 years more experience, to even launching my own passion project. If you’ve heard your own version of these lines, give yourself a mental high-five right now, because you’re not alone.
The High-Achiever’s Trap
What often blows my mind is that imposter syndrome seems to hit high-achievers the hardest. (If you’re someone who sets big, ambitious goals, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.) The more you accomplish, the more you raise the bar on yourself. Eventually, you can’t keep up with your own unrealistic expectations, and you assume any “failure” means you’re an outright fraud.
And let’s not forget the unique challenges women face in the workplace—statistics (and plenty of personal stories I’ve heard) show that we often feel we have to “earn our seat at the table” in ways that go beyond our male counterparts. That adds an extra layer of doubt sometimes.
My Personal “Fraud” Moment (Or Should I Say Moments)
When I think back to my biggest imposter meltdown, it was probably the time I was tasked with leading a project team for a high-stakes client. I remember lying awake at night, replaying the day’s conversations and scanning my brain for any slip-ups. “Why did I say that in the meeting? Did it sound stupid? Am I even qualified to be in this position?”
I literally had a moment where I pictured the client emailing my boss and saying, “We want someone else—your current lead doesn’t know what she’s doing.” (They didn’t, by the way, and the project ended up being a success, but I spent weeks dreading an outcome that never happened.)
I can’t tell you how many times I tried to talk myself out of those feelings by reading motivational quotes or journaling (both good things to do, by the way!), only to have that tension creep back a few days later. Eventually, I had one of those “let’s sit down and get real” moments with myself. The conversation went something like, “You can’t keep sprinting ahead in your career while dragging self-doubt along like a heavy backpack.”
That’s when I committed to seriously figuring out how to overcome imposter syndrome in a lasting way. Spoiler: It’s still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way.
1. Call It by Its Name
It might sound simple, but the very first step for me was to actually name what I was feeling. I used to say things like, “I’m just anxious,” or “I need to improve my skills.” While both could be true, they sidestepped the bigger picture.
Once I learned what imposter syndrome really was, I started saying, “Oh, hey, imposter syndrome reared its head again today. I see you, I hear you, but I’m not buying into you.”
Why does this matter?
- Labeling imposter syndrome gives it boundaries. Instead of feeling like you are the problem, you can see that this is a common phenomenon—an external set of beliefs you can challenge and eventually overcome.
2. Start a “Yes, I Did That!” Journal
I’ll confess: I used to think journaling was a bit fluffy. But I started a “Yes, I Did That!” notebook anyway, because every self-help guru seems to mention gratitude or accomplishment tracking at some point, right? Let me tell you: it’s powerful.
What Goes in My Journal
- Daily Wins: Got through a tough day at work? Note it. Ate healthy meals when you planned to? Write it down. Reached out to an old mentor? That’s a win.
- Challenges Overcome: If I faced a difficult conversation or took on a new project, I make sure to capture how I got through it and what I learned.
- Compliments or Positive Feedback: It might feel awkward at first, but if someone says something nice about your performance, jot it down (word for word if you can). This becomes a treasure trove of proof that you are more than capable.
Whenever I feel the “I’m not good enough” script playing in my mind, I flip through my journal and—what do you know—there’s evidence that I’ve handled plenty of challenges successfully. It’s hard to argue with actual proof, even if your negative thoughts want to.
3. Befriend the Voice in Your Head (But Don’t Let It Take Charge)
People say you should silence your inner critic, but I actually think befriending it can help. Let me explain what I mean. When that voice goes, “They’re going to figure out you have no idea what you’re talking about,” I try to respond the way I would to a worried friend.
I might say, “Okay, I hear you’re scared. You’re trying to protect me from failure, and that’s sweet, but let’s look at the facts.” Then I literally list the facts in my head:
- Fact: I prepared for this meeting by doing X, Y, and Z.
- Fact: My manager complimented my previous presentation.
- Fact: Even if I stumble, I can bounce back by asking for clarity or offering to find answers.
By dealing with my negative voice like a concerned buddy instead of some malicious force, I can keep it from paralyzing me.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
There’s a phrase: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” One thing that really helped me is intentionally seeking out people—mentors, friends, colleagues—who encourage growth and celebrate each other’s wins.
- Mentors: I can’t stress how game-changing it was for me to have a mentor who openly admitted she felt like a fraud sometimes too. Suddenly, I wasn’t weird or lesser—I was normal.
- Cheerleaders: Having that friend who’s always excited about your achievements can boost your self-confidence. My best friend literally whoops and claps whenever I tell her about a success (even a small one).
- Peers Going Through the Same Thing: Whether it’s a Slack group at work or an online forum, hearing other people say, “Wow, I had the exact same meltdown last week!” gives you perspective.
There is so much power in community. Sometimes, all you need is to realize you’re not the only one wrestling with self-doubt.
5. Embrace the Power of “Yet”
Oh, the number of times I said, “I can’t handle finances” or “I’m terrible at public speaking.” Then someone suggested adding “yet” to the end of those statements: “I can’t handle finances yet.” “I’m not good at public speaking yet.”
It’s a tiny word, but it shifts the entire narrative. You go from labeling yourself as permanently inadequate to acknowledging that you’re on a learning journey. Whenever I started a new task or project that felt out of my depth, just changing the language in my head from “I can’t do this” to “I can’t do this yet, but I’m ready to learn,” gave me the freedom to ask questions and make mistakes without feeling like a failure.
6. Stop Brushing Off Compliments
Have you ever had someone say, “Wow, you did a fantastic job on that project!” and you immediately respond, “Oh, it was nothing, my team did all the heavy lifting”? Guilty as charged.
When I realized this was a pattern for me, I made a conscious effort to pause and say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” No excuses or deflections. And you know what? It started to feel really good to accept credit for the hard work I’d done. Over time, that muscle got stronger, and I found myself actually letting compliments sink in. I even started thanking people more enthusiastically, letting them know I truly valued their feedback.
Pro tip: Next time someone compliments you, try just smiling and saying, “Thank you for noticing!” It might feel awkward at first, but I promise it gets easier.
7. Practice Mindful Self-Compassion
Now, if you’re anything like me, high stress and negative thoughts can spin into a big mess quickly. Taking short mindful breaks changed the game for me. I’ll share a quick exercise I do:
- Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
- Take a deep breath in and out, noticing any tension in your body.
- Repeat a gentle phrase, such as “I am capable,” “I deserve my successes,” or even just “I’m going to be okay.”
It feels a little odd in the beginning, but by the end, my mind is calmer, and I’ve reminded myself that I am enough, right here, right now.
Another Approach: If you’re not into mantras, simply visualize a relaxing scene (I picture a quiet beach at sunset, no deadlines in sight!). Let your self-doubts drift away like waves receding from the shore. I know, it sounds corny, but it works wonders for clearing my mental clutter.
8. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
This one was so hard for me, because I used to be a massive perfectionist. If the finished product wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined, I’d view the whole thing as a failure. Naturally, this made every project stressful, and it fueled that imposter feeling.
Over time, I’ve learned to ask: “Am I improving compared to where I was before?” If the answer is yes—even if it’s by a tiny bit—I count that as a win. This shift from “I need to do it perfectly or not at all” to “Let’s see how far I can grow” has changed the way I approach learning, challenges, and yes, even mistakes.
Now, when I finish a project, I’ll do a quick reflection: “What did I learn? What went well? What can I tweak next time?” Instead of beating myself up for what didn’t go right, I see it as valuable data for my next round of improvement.
9. Reassess Your Goals (Are They Realistic?)
Picture this: You set a goal of reading 30 books a month while working a full-time job, raising a family, and cooking every meal from scratch. You get to the end of the month, and you’ve read only 10 books. Cue the internal meltdown: “I’m such a failure!”
But here’s the thing: The goal itself was probably not realistic. It wasn’t you who failed—the goal wasn’t aligned with the constraints of real life. This kind of mismatch creates a breeding ground for imposter syndrome because you end up feeling inadequate for not meeting an impossible standard.
What to Do Instead:
- Use the SMART framework: Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
- Reflect on your past experiences to gauge what’s truly doable. If 10 books a month is your current capacity, own it! That’s still pretty amazing.
- Revisit and tweak your goals regularly. Life changes, so your plans should too.
10. Celebrate Every Step (Big or Small)
I used to think celebrating every little achievement was cheesy. But let me tell you, it’s actually an amazing confidence booster. Whether it’s finishing a report, delivering a presentation, or simply making it through a tough week at work, I make a point now to do something small (or big!) to celebrate.
- Have a solo dance party in your living room. (Yes, I do this, and it’s fantastic therapy.)
- Treat yourself to that fancy latte or a nice dinner.
- Tell someone you trust about your win, and soak in their enthusiasm.
When you celebrate your achievements, you’re retraining your brain to associate hard work and accomplishments with positive feelings instead of dread or self-doubt. Over time, this helps erode the grip of imposter syndrome.
My Go-To Mindset Reset
Whenever I feel those imposter vibes creeping back (because let’s be honest, it’s a lifelong process), I run through a quick checklist:
- Name It: “Oh hey, imposter syndrome, here you are again.”
- Check My Journal: I skim through my “Yes, I Did That!” entries for real-life evidence of my capabilities.
- Phone a Friend: If I’m really in a spiral, I text a close friend or mentor, and they usually snap me out of it with some perspective.
- Be Mindful: A quick breathing exercise or a kind word to myself helps reset my emotional state.
- Decide on an Action: Whether it’s reading more about the topic I’m uncertain about or preparing a little extra for that upcoming meeting, taking action reminds me I’m in control.
A Word for Women in the Workplace
I want to take a moment to acknowledge that women often face a unique blend of societal expectations and workplace biases. Early in my career, I frequently heard subtle remarks that planted seeds of self-doubt—things like, “Wow, you’re really good at this for a woman!” or “Are you sure you can handle that negotiation?” Over time, these add up, chipping away at your confidence.
The best advice I got was from a female leader who told me, “Never forget you have every right to be in that meeting room. You earned it. And if someone questions you, that says more about them than it does about you.” That piece of wisdom became my mantra whenever I started feeling like I didn’t belong.
You’ve Got This!
If there’s one message I want you to walk away with, it’s this: You are not a fraud. You’re a person with strengths, accomplishments, and yes, areas where you still want to grow. But that’s how life works, right? We’re always learning. Feeling doubt doesn’t mean you’re unqualified; it just means you care deeply about what you do.
The path to discovering how to overcome imposter syndrome isn’t linear. You’ll have good days where you feel on top of the world, and you’ll have days where that creeping sense of self-doubt comes knocking. The trick is learning to recognize it, confront it, and move forward in spite of it. Each time you do that, you’re building resilience and writing a new story about who you are and what you’re capable of.
So here’s my challenge to you:
- This week, keep track of at least one “win” each day. It can be big or small.
- Share that win with someone who supports you.
- Notice how it feels to own your success—even if it’s just a tiny glimmer of pride at first.
You deserve to enjoy the fruits of your hard work. Let yourself celebrate, learn, and grow without the shadow of self-doubt dimming your shine. And if you ever need a friendly reminder that imposter syndrome is just a feeling (not your reality), come back to this post or reach out to me. I’ll be cheering for you every step of the way.
Thanks for reading, friend. Here’s to embracing our achievements—past, present, and future—and showing imposter syndrome the exit door once and for all. If you found anything here helpful, please share it with someone who might need a pep talk, too. Let’s build a community where we lift each other up and remind each other just how amazing we truly are!
